Stunned Senseless

Twilight on Tanker Hill

How do we blend world news into our daily lives?

Geese forming a ghost

More then spooky — when art  is left speechless.

The sky on fire

Even the sky is red with pastel rage.

Sun spike sunset

Can anyone point the way to a solution?

geese in alignment

Humans being human

starts with me.

UT

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28 thoughts on “Stunned Senseless

  1. Beautiful photos … Mother Nature showcases her finest work for us to enjoy, but so often we are too busy trying to figure out what is wrong with this world, or creating more mayhem on this planet, that we fail to appreciate it. I’m sure God looks down sometimes and scratches his head and says “it was not supposed to be like this at all” … the sad thing is, this was not the first school shooting this year and this is the only one that got all the attention since 17 died. What does that say for our world today?

  2. Thank you, Linda. I’m glad you like the pictures I quickly chose to show. I had just downloaded my last two weeks worth of pics, and it was getting late, but as I felt after Black Monday, there was this urge to say something; anything. I feel like it’s my duty, as I can step outside myself, and then see things from the perspective of a non-human, which wood be a tree, in my case. Keith could easily get up on the proverbial soap-box and preach away, whereas Uncle Tree will knot step up to the plate of judgement, nor act like a know-it-all.

    Philosophically, the subject of “evil” is a conundrum, and cannot be defined within the realm of reason.

    Psychologically, evil, practically, has to be defined as an aberration, or malfunction, of a person’s mental health. Carl Jung, one of my favorite authors, spent a lot of time thinking and writing about evil, and I spent a lot of time reading his work, thanks to our public library system.

    Spiritually speaking, I’m inclined to believe in free-will, which keeps the total weight of guilt away from my belief in a good Lord and a good God.

    On the other hand, I have to believe my God is big enough to take the blame for everything that happens, just so we don’t have to carry those oh-so heavy crosses by ourselves.

    Regarding the state of our world today,
    I pray we’re not done evolving, and I pray we can do it without any major mutations. I love the way we look, think and feel. We’re there. We’re home, and there is really no place else to go. Earth fits us perfectly for a damn good reason.

    The Gospel According to Uncle Tree —

  3. You make very valid points Uncle Tree, and belatedly, after I pressed “SEND” this morning, I realized I should have referenced your post you had written the day after the Las Vegas massacre. I remember reading it and your comments.

    I guess I worry that one day we will become cavalier about all these happenings – 18 school shootings this year, and most are just another day’s occurrence. Today in Michigan we had two incidents of what they call “school terrorism” … kids were kept home from school for the first instance, the other was the discovery of a student who threatened to wreak havoc at his school today. It barely made the local news, drowned out by the constant briefings out of Florida.

    I’ve had talk shows in the background on the radio while working today. Some commentary was that this shooter was bullied by his classmates and traumatized by that (as well as the recent death of his step-mother). I was bullied after moving here to the States – it was horrid. It happened by classmates and my teachers as a result of coming from Canada and my accent. It was traumatizing, but I wouldn’t have taken retribution for it at ten years old, but, I never told my parents until the teacher paddled me so much and threatened me for disrespecting her, that I could take it no longer. My father went to the school, and all hell broke loose. When I heard about the bullying, I thought he must have set his sights on retribution for those bullies. Kids can be so cruel sometimes and social media excluding less-popular kids in your inner circle is so very traumatizing. Now everyone will try to wrap their head around this and what went wrong with this kid. I just wish people … adults, kids, would just be easier on one another, and get along better and maybe there would be less angst, fear and mental illness in our culture. I wish I didn’t have such a jaded view of the world sometimes, I really do.

  4. One last thing, I wish I was born in an earlier era, a kinder and simpler time, but we look back at the “olden days” and see them as perfect and golden, but in reality … those times were tarnished too, just not as much. Take care.

  5. Well, young lady,
    as writers, our duty entails the ability to speak for the people;
    the folks who wish to say what is on their minds,
    but for the life of them, they can’t find the “right” words.

    You write very well, Linda. You’re both prolific and comprehensible.
    Your local newspaper is missing out, imo.

    Like our Fathers before us, we may see and remember our upbringing as being perfect and golden, yet, tarnished and terrible! But, neither of us would go back and change anything, because, we like where we’re at, and changing anything in the past would rob us of what we have now. It goes by many names…

  6. I agree with you – we must tell it like it is, and be the mouthpiece for those who wish to stay silent, or can’t find the “right” words.

    Thank you for compliment. I always liked to write and should not have settled for a job (it is not a career, but a job) that did not give me an outlet to be creative and enjoy what I was doing. Your day should be filled with something that you have a passion for, and not just be a means to an end. But sadly that is the case for most people, including me. At least maybe now, with this blog, I have a forum to express a lot of words and thoughts that have been bottled up inside waiting to come out and now they do as I tap, tap, tap away on the keyboard.

    While I would like to live in a simpler and kinder era, nope, I would not like to go back in time as there were bumps in the road and I would not like to endure them again. Like I said to you the other day, it is good to feel comfortable in your skin, albeit at 60 (or in my case 61+) … there’s some wisdom that I’ve earned along with the crinkles around the eyes and those stray gray hairs that I whisk away with highlights so I don’t cringe when I look in the mirror.

  7. I’ve been immersed in Reader all evening and there is a lot of poetry … many of it is quite dark, and not just as a result of yesterday’s shooting. While these feelings are beautifully written, I think it solidifies what I said earlier about so much pain and angst in the world.

  8. Senseless is so true UT, an 18yr old kid full of hate buys an assault rifle and destroys so many lives, and it will happen again and again. I was brought up in the 60’s (GB) times were hard but I can never remember this type of outrage happening then.

  9. Here is a passage that bothers me, Linda. It came to mind whilst reading your comments.

    Ecclesiastes 1:9

    The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits. All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again. All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? It hath been already of old time, which was before us. There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after. I, the Preacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem.

    — Uncle Tree likes to see his mere existence as original. Okay…well, men have played trees before, but have they really thought or written like me?

    Born, raised, and indoctrinated in the Southern Baptist Church, we were instructed to take scripture literally. For the most part, I’ve relieved myself of that duty. Still, it hangs around like a thorn in my side.

    World History was an eye-opener for me. Thank God! I was free to read any damn book I wanted to in this good old USA. So, I did.

  10. It was a very dark day for the U.S. of A., Wayne. Glad to hear someone in this cruel world of ours had a good day.

    There wasn’t a cloud in the sky here this morning, so the wind got going to a feel-cold February day of way below freezing. Fairly appropriate for the times, but quite a bit below average.

  11. Kent State? Lynchings? The KKK? Vietnam? Shall I go on?

    Ecclesiastics 1:9 comes to mind. On the other hand,
    why can a very young man buy an assault rifle?
    Who is kidding who? Every time one is legally sold, a report should go out to the FBI,
    who actually knew about this immature adult, and did nothing. That pisses me off!

  12. I was brought up to take scripture literally as well, though my church attendance was not what you would call regular. My mom did not drive, my father didn’t want to get up early on his only day off from work, and so I was baptized Catholic but never made my communion or confirmation. I attended Sunday School and church with my current girlfriend at the time, so in Canada I was Presbyterian and here I attended Baptist Sunday School and church. I feel awkward going into a Catholic church now and only go there to light candles now.

    The Catholic church is not like it was years ago – they bend the rules more and more. for everything. It used to bother my grandmother to see people walking up the street to St. Helen’s Church (large Catholic church in Toronto at the end of her street) in casual dress, and no hat or gloves … back in the day church attendance and propriety were important. Our Catholic church is not open many hours because people break in and try to steal things – no reverence for anything anymore.

    Today, I was reading a story at CBS-Detroit news which is the radio station I listen to during the day. There was a story about a middle school banning book bags in class for students. At the bottom of the story there were the usual advertisements or supposedly local stories to click on, but you usually don’t as they may be SPAM, etc. One was a talking tree, and it looked so much like the image on your site it was uncanny. I thought you or your artist who drew it, would not like to see that likeness. I clicked into it to get a link to send you, but it was an ad for a video game and you had to register. I went back to take a screen shot and it was gone. Very bizarre. I do think you are the only one who thinks or writes like you. The others are copycats … barking up the wrong tree!

    You have been an avid reader and I miss doing that. Growing up, it was just my parents and me, and after dinner, it was like being in a library. My parents would sit there, quiet as church mice, while they read the newspaper and I would be given a book to read, and when school started, I had homework. Some TV watched, but mostly educational programs, fun TV on the weekends only. I read so much and then, as a bus rider, took the bus for 30 plus years and despised when people would want to talk and I just wanted to read. You mentioned the library and my mom used to get many best sellers (hard cover books) using our library card. We’d see a book and reserve it and we would get it two weeks together, one week for each of us. My mom would read it in a hurry, and I’d have a little extra time, but I do miss those days. There are Rubbermaid tubs downstairs with pocketbooks in them, because after I stopped taking the bus and then worked from home, my mom was way ahead of me. I hope they are still in good condition by the time I retire. I need to read more about World History and American History because at the end of the school year, the teachers were behind and rushed us through it. One of my favorite books I read was one I ordered online called “An Incomplete Education” and it was like reading a synopsis of everything that had happened to date and I realized that the title of the book was very accurate, because I wondered how I got through years of schooling and kept shaking my head saying “I didn’t know that.” See if your library has it, although I think you are a voracious reader and may already know a lot of important historical or philosophical treatises.

    Unfortunately it does not look like this book has been revised in many years. I had the original edition from 1987. It was pretty fascinating though: https://www.amazon.com/Incomplete-Education-Revised-Judy-Jones/dp/0345391373/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WC781K9KDG444T3CMGX5

  13. Here is the site I referred to but the ad of the talking tree is not the same one you see at the site … it looked very similar to your site image, which I’m wondering if it is copyrighted? Anyway, without registering or going in, there is another likeness of a tree of some kind, not like the other one, but you get the idea: https://plarium.com/landings/en/throne/cave_view_f002r_a_m?publisherID=62295444&placement=cbslocaltv-detroit&plid=106782&pxl=taboola_fr&utm_expid=.PI9BUuo-SyyoilhQ2qf2jw.5&utm_referrer=http%3A%2F%2Ftrc.taboola.com%2Fcbslocaltv-detroit%2Flog%2F3%2Fclick%3Fpi%3D%252F2018%252F02%252F16%252Fmichigan-school-bans-book-bags-in-wake-of-florida-shooting%26ri%3Df472566d5a4cceb61080e50691870eec%26sd%3Dv2_13fd2b9d1604d2d97147925c00d64890_a9b61399-cbe1-490c-b771-b0380bce9466_1518805439_1518805439_CIi3jgYQiLNBGJzj8_6ZLCABKAMw4QE%26ui%3Da9b61399-cbe1-490c-b771-b0380bce9466%26it%3Dtext%26ii%3D~~V1~~-6541219048884366081~~KEa-Hay20B0l6H4RR2TvOktQYibD7dvpwWe31pZ8bYYSO_fFkG-bpaW2-qyqBDD6A2oNFt1ukOTCFTq8EPPgTxTf063ajsHJaLqu4VKL4Bip6WQByScsyMJ9DtwW-8LHKuetiXaZkUYnLMkRph5TpuQa6itrARLZl4XDMfjDmGDyXclPRUJ09uAdeO3nlskCq_4uQ3YtqDi_ozUF5KyCiw%26pt%3Dtext%26li%3Drbox-t2m%26redir%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fplarium.com%252Fplay%252Fen%252Fthrone%252F002_pastoral_am_g%253FpublisherID%253D62295444%2526placement%253Dcbslocaltv-detroit%2526plid%253D106782%2526pxl%253Dtaboola_fr%26vi%3D1518805512604%26p%3Dplariumeurope-throne-sc%26r%3D49%26ppb%3DCLMB%26cpb%3DEg4yOTQtMTItUkVMRUFTRRiAmh0g8KQgKhl1cy50YWJvb2xhc3luZGljYXRpb24uY29tMgh3YXRlcjE3OA

  14. My reply would be so long, my head is spinning. Then again, memory banks need to be revisited, imo. I do cherish my brain for it’s ability to recourse past trails followed serendipitously.

    Excuse my absent mind, Linda. I have to work tomorrow.
    I owe you a more decent reply. Catch you later. UT

  15. As I said I grew up in the UK so was unaware of the events you mention, we have very tight gun laws here so these type of horrors are very , very rare but if someone is determined to get a gun they will, if no gun then reach for the kitchen knife or jump in a car.

  16. Wow … your mind is far from absent Uncle Tree. I went to bed right after I replied to you and I was up and at ’em at 4:00 a.m. today. I’m hoping to get a walk in today – it will clear my head as it’s been two weeks today since I ventured out on foot or in the car, save to walk to the end of the street to mail a card yesterday. Finally the ice has vamoosed. I, too, have to work this weekend and my boss dropped off a tape to be transcribed plus we will be editing the document through the weekend. No snow shoveling but wanted to work on taxes this weekend. No rest for the weary for either of us. Take your time …

  17. I’m sorry. I forgot you were from the UK. Sorry for assuming. I wish our gun laws were tougher, especially for weapons not considered as proper for legal hunting. I’ve never owned a gun, and have no wish to. And you’re right, there are more killing machines besides guns. But if we are to start somewhere, we should start with schools, and make them safer…somehow.

  18. Absolutely agree, perhaps if more could be done to identify and help the troubled kids but access, easy access to firearms must be stopped. Your government must start seeing sense.

  19. It’s sunny and 49 degrees here currently, and it’s supposed to reach 61 tomorrow. YaY! But just for one day, then we’re back to the mid-40’s. It’s still a much needed break from the chill.

    I checked the links you provided, but I ended up at a video game website. I pay the extra for my domain name, and hope that proves me as the original. If imitation is the highest form of flattery, well… let ’em try. I’ll probably never know.

    My mom played the piano and my dad led the singing for the congregation in church. My older brother and I joined them for a family tune once in awhile. My dad bought me a guitar, when I was 10, but I was more interested in spending my free time playing sandlot football, baseball, basketball, soccer and golf. In jr. high, I got into speech contests, and oratory, and knew I could become a preacher, if I wanted to. At the age of 12, I did give the sermon one Sunday night. But, being super-religious makes one an outsider. I voted not to become a TV evangelist, nor a rock-n-roll phenom. I wanted to play ball, like the pros, and be rich. I reached the big height of 5’6″, 140 pounds. It wasn’t in the cards.

    I grew up in Sedalia, Mo., pop. 20,000, which hasn’t changed. When we moved to Lincoln, the pop. was 125,000, and now it’s close to 300,000.

    Next month, I’ll reach my 41st anniversary at Kawasaki. I’m not proud of that fact; more like embarrassed, kinda sorta. Oh, well. It is what it is. Hard work and lots of lifting has kept me in pretty good shape. I’ll have a pension. I get about 5 weeks of paid vacation a year. I make 21 bucks an hour (no union). So, my factory life has and does have its benefits. Question remains: Can I make it for 6 more years?

    I’m off task, and off on a tangent. Pardon me.
    Hope you get to enjoy a bit of your weekend. Me²

  20. Oh, yes. Sounds and looks like a good book you were fortunate to stumble upon. You got to review the bird’s eye perspective of the bigger picture — the one that involves time/space.

    Myself, Mel Brookes movie, “The History Of The World” cracked me up. During my attempt at self-education, I read a few layman’s books on physics. “The Universe In A Nutshell”, by Stephen Hawking came to mind, because it, too, is a big-picture book.

  21. Thank you for giving me some insight into your formative years and adult years. It tells me a lot about your character. There is nothing wrong with your job … be proud of the fact that you make an honest living, have perks like a good pension, a lot of yearly vacation time and no doubt excellent healthcare, all due to your longevity in a job. The union may get you more benefits, like you hear about here with the Big 3, but I could write pages about the union and what it takes from you as well … I work for a labor attorney for management. The union is our adversary.

    I also believe in longevity on a job. I soon will be 62 years old and worked four jobs in my life. My job during college was at a diner as I’ve mentioned before. I adored my manager and his wife and one day will write about them here in my blog. It was all Southern employees, except me, when I began there. He was like a grandfather to me and I worked all the times when I was off during my college years and I stayed on after graduation until he could retire. The owner of the diner was brutally murdered in August of 1977, his wife spoke no English and wanted no part of the diner, so it was sold and new owners took over in 1978 and they wanted their own family to run the diner, so Erdie was out – he was close to 80 at that time, but a bundle of energy.

    I went to work at an ad agency hoping to work my way up the ladder to a junior copywriting position, but we lost a major account (Chrysler) and most of the Creative Department where I was a secretary, went to other agencies. I had a mentor who would have helped me out and I’ll attach a link about him that I wrote when I found out he died (still another long tribute post, but he deserved it) (https://lindaschaubblog.net/2015/03/25/not-all-ad-men-are-mad-men/

    Ad agency people are transient and he did not stick around and couldn’t take me with him to the new gig, so that was that. I was recommended to go to an accounting firm as they needed an editor for their news magazine. It was Peat, Marwick and Mitchell. I was excited, and left the ad agency for there … lasted ½ day … turned out that since it was a created position, I would also be the backup typist for others out ill and working on some big machine called a statistical typewriter, typing numbers all day … I don’t know why I went there because math, and numbers have never interested me. I’ve never done my own taxes, just compiled the info and paperwork like I’ve done this weekend and will finish my chart for the CPA later today. I’ve taken them to the same CPA where I’ve gone since 1973.

    I may have a college degree, but I will tell you in many respects it does not mean much. In my opinion, I learned more about life by traveling, which I did in my late 20s and early 30s, and just by listening to news and keeping current with what is going on in the world … and talking to people. Getting smart by osmosis … not by books. College only gave me a degree and I’ve really never utilized my education … my father said he’d put me through college for whatever I wanted to do, and pay the bill for it. That was nice and had I put my own money into the education, perhaps would have appreciated it more and found a position where I could have used my degree … there was nothing out there when I graduated however. My father constantly complained that his money was wasted and he could have had a T-bird and bought my mother a fur coat … but you read that story in my first blog post. And, I rarely talk about my father – that is a whole ‘nother story which I’ll write about one day … it’s a doozy and it ain’t pretty, and when I mention bumps in the road … none of the bumps were created by me, it was others’ doing.

    I started as a legal secretary in 1980. It was the same building as the ad agency and the hiring partner, Mr. Morgan, said “we’ll take a chance on you since you have a college degree, but hopefully you don’t act like those ad agency types I see riding in the elevator.” And I was told to keep a notebook to write things down and not ask a lot of questions and I should do well. At this law firm, they were a bunch of stuffed shirts, strict dress code, we addressed attorneys, paralegals and even the d*mn runner as Mr. or Ms. And they addressed us the same way – no first names. I stayed there until 1993 and he had a bad heart attack and every year that I was there, on my anniversary, I walked down to his office and said “it’s another year” and he would laugh – rare for him. He had a major heart attack and went into private practice, less strenuous than his med mal practice he specialized in. Every year I mailed, then e-mailed him a note about his eating crow. I didn’t like to be lumped in with other people and still do not. I should e-mail him again – I missed the date (February 11th) due to all the snow and was busy at work. But the last few years I didn’t hear back from him – perhaps he is not in practice anymore or just declines to respond … he is in his 80s now. I left there after a misunderstanding with my boss which I won’t go into now, but I went to another firm, which was much different – we were all treated as equals and we knew our position in the hierarchy and it was not necessary to be high falutin’ about anything. My principal attorney was kind, never got agitated and we were very busy as I also worked for an associate. I wondered why I could not have discovered this boss years before … I did enjoy going to work for him, but then we went through a merger … we were acquired by a Firm in Virginia. My boss was told to raise the rates of all of our clients (we did insurance defense work) immediately, we lost most of our clients, and then the Firm’s Board of Directors decided that Ed, despite being an equity partner for years, was not a keeper as he was not profitable enough! He became very depressed and stayed there a year after he was told this – he never said a word of this fact to me, in fact he came in every morning, shut the door and only came out as lunch. I was devastated and upset he never told me the story of his being asked to leave … I knew because my current boss, Robb, was friendly with the main partner at the friend and he told him. Ed rarely talked to me the last year he was there … I took on Robb because he went through secretaries like water … he was rude, condescending and had a constant load of work – but I told him after he went through three secretaries in one Summer I’d work for him as Ed was going to be gone sooner or later, and I wanted job security, but he should not ever raise his voice to me or I’d be gone and find someone else. Ed went to work at the City of Detroit Law Department. I started working for Robb (still my current boss) in 2001 … he was “of counsel” (not a member, partner of the Firm but had his own practice and received a commission on all fees brought in for himself and generated by other attorneys) … he was considered a “cash cow”. We had tons of clients and many were spun off to other attorneys when they had corporate or litigation problems. Labor law was lucrative because in those days, people relied on their attorneys to do grievances, bargaining negotiations, employee discipline – they did not have human resources personnel who did that. All that changed with things like Obamacare where you must process paperwork, social media use in the workplace – after computers were commonplace in the workplace, people had rules and regulations to abide by and didn’t … more problems at work but our clients suddenly had to hire H.R. people who had schooling to do the things my boss did beforehand. We left on good terms and could have gone back – the partners understood why Robb wanted to leave as he could raise his fees as he’d lose clients and his livelihood.

    We moved out on our own in early 2003 and were very busy until 2009, after the recession hit. I was put on short hours, then laid off, then my mom got sick and was confined to bed. No family to help out – just me. She passed away, and I SHOULD have looked for another job and returned to work and not been content to wait to be hired back as I was told I would be. But it had been a tough two years for me, laid off, my mom’s declining health and sudden death (sepsis from a perforated bowel) … it took a lot out of me. I collected unemployment for awhile then got hired back part-time in June 2011.

    While it may seem to some that my job is great … working at home (which is good for me … when I worked downtown all those years, I took the bus and it was an easy commute – moving out with Robb was to a building not in downtown Detroit and required two busses unless I drove, which I did in good weather, or paid someone in the building to commute with them … (schedules don’t mesh, wasn’t fun at all) … so he said he could hire me back part time and I said I wasn’t going down there for four hours – sorry, but would work at home for a lower wage. But Robb has always been a workaholic, and, even before I took work home sometimes and worked hard at work … no different now, like yesterday … “could I do a tape?” Yes, did it and he conveniently was there when I finished it, printed it and had something he drafted … three sets of revisions on two lousy memos and four hours later I was done. He is a nice person, but moody and I’ve dealt with the moods, both on site and off site … it gets old sometimes, and I’ve not seen my boss since October 2012 and that is only because he was dropping off something and I had whined about a huge spider in back of my mailbox, that walked out on its web to the mailbox lid everyday to sun itself (ugh), so he brought stuff to kill it – I was afraid to get the mail and he was dropping off a tape so offered to clean it, so I came out to greet him. He scans in handwritten work for me to do or drafts documents and I clean them up. Sometimes tapes are dropped off in the mailbox or mailed to me. We talk on the phone daily and e-mail constantly. So, my deal is this … I’m paid four hours a day, at $10.00 an hour, but the reality is I work more like six hours a day and am not paid overtime. I start at 11:00 a.m. so am able to walk or do errands in the early a.m. I am paid $800.00 a month and a $500.00 a month for healthcare. Since I’ve gone on Obamacare, I am better off and able to save money, but my healthcare does not, nor has it ever included dental or optical benefits … I was paying for healthcare on my own up to $700.00 before Obamacare, so I was out-of-pocket big time. Robb does occasionally send extra if we have a big matter and I’ve worked longer hours on it … but don’t think I have not kicked myself long and hard for an inability to see down the road when I agreed to this “deal” in 2011.

    On the other hand, when I first began working my mother encouraged me to put money away and the first firm, though it had its peculiarities, was very good in its benefits and matched what we put into our 401(k) plan, so I put in a good amount was able to amass a nice nest egg, none which I’ve touched. I’ve seen a financial advisor who manages my stocks (I don’t have a clue about stocks … the numbers thing) who says I should not take social security until I turn 67 … interesting, since my boss will turn 71 next year and we are not as busy and talks about shutting down the office at year’s end. But, he does not want to retire – he was always a workaholic, loves what he does, does not want to retire – simple as that. He is good friends with the landlord (heir to the Stroh Beer estate) and loves the interaction with him. They just travelled to South Africa for two weeks with their wives and sons (Robb’s is in the last year of law school, but no desire to be in labor law, i.e. take over the practice). As I said, Robb and left the firm as they wanted him to become a partner and raise his rates $150.00 an hour – he didn’t want to lose his clients. When he asked if I would go with him, my mom said “he’s almost 10 years older than you – what if he retires” … he said he’d die with his boots on, like his dad who was practicing law until age 82 when he had developed kidney disease and died. It was not a concern to me as we were busy, and, had I stayed, our firm was not profitable enough so the entire Detroit branch was closed less than two years after we left, so a moot point. But I ask myself all the time – would I have been able to retire at age 65 and ride off into the sunset had I found another full-time job? The fact is I like my gig – and I am sure that some people think it is lazy to just have stuck with this job which essentially is minimum wage position seems a little un-ambitious on my part. But, had I not done this, I’d not have started walking, or writing. And it is just me, and the car and house were paid off long ago and I told myself, I’m frugal but don’t deny myself anything – so why not? The issue will be after he retires and what I do … but it has been since 01/31/03 since I’ve been in a normal office environment … on our own, it was very casual, and fun – you got your work done, you had some leeway and little perks, but the idea of going back into the workforce in the legal field is not just scary, but it also intimidates me – I don’t have the skill set that is required these days … I don’t have proficiency in all the Microsoft software that is required to have as a legal secretary these days. It is d*mn scary to be my age and realize that I may have to reinvent myself at some point … do I dabble in something creative as I said I always wanted to do? Go into uncharted territory? Do I go on Social Security at age 62 (or whenever he retires) and hope for the best? My mom’s words come ringing in my ears a lot and I realize she would have been very disappointed in me that I should be facing such a dilemma when possibly I could have many decades more to live. So, you see how lucky you are to have such stability in your life?

    It is an ugly day outside, but maybe since I sat down here it is better … there were many accidents and so I likely will go run the car and probably sweep or shovel and that’s the end of that. We will have your nice 60 plus temps on Tuesday but it will rain. I dislike the Winter, but always did even when working … the commute on the bus could be hours and hours, but it gave me time to read … I will read the other message you sent when I return later today … this reply is way longer than I thought it would be.

  22. Dear Linda,

    I think you just set the record for my longest reply. 🙂 WoWzer! What a read!

    Thanks for filling me in. I feel I know you better now. Sorry to hear about your mom. That sounds tougher than tough to deal with. And, your career, to me, is difficult to imagine. I don’t believe I’m disciplined enough to work at home. But, good for you. Glad to hear you make it work for you.

    Best wishes for the best decisions ahead! I appreciate your honesty.
    Luvz and hugz, UT

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