Drives, Punches, And Kisses

Uncle-tree-_colour_flat-TEXT_sml (1)


My poems are like drives

that I hit off the tee

Some I hit straight

Some go left

Some go right

A few are obviously


out of bounds


I no longer miss the ball completely


My poems are like

the punches I throw

Some hit you smack-dab

between the eyes

Some hook from the left

Some swing in from the right

A few are notoriously


below the belt


I know longer miss you completely


My poems are like

the kisses I blow

Some will land on your lips

Some reach your left cheek

Some pucker off the right

A few will go in one ear and out the other


I no longer miss with a kiss completely


You can’t see what’s coming at you

You never know where they might land

You can feel them after the fact

if you aim to understand


You cannot miss your self unless

you no longer know where it hides

No longer look for yourself outside

it always resides inside




40 thoughts on “Drives, Punches, And Kisses

  1. Things tend to get out of bounds, as much as we try, they always manage to escape somehow.
    At least you miss just a part now, that’s a lot to say for a man.
    And for where you reside, you are always naked in the inside, nothing you can hide even if you try.
    Excellent poem , I really like this one, I read it more than 5 times.
    take care uncle

  2. I’m so happy you like it, Mariana.
    I have been known to overstep the invisible boundaries built,
    and setup by others, unwittingly or not. If I could dance,
    I wood step on your right toes, and then on your left toes,
    and after that I’d head straight for the nearest exit. That is,
    if my life is still intact at the time. This poem was made in one
    of my sillier moods. That’s funny…what you say about men.
    Really? Do we miss that much, or do we pretend not to notice?

  3. WOW!!! Super nice comment, Bindo!

    I’m glad this little experiment met your approval.
    It does lend itself to this type of arrangement, otherwise
    it wood probably be rather boring to those who don’t yet know Tree.

  4. Dear uncle:
    I meant to say man to represent both sexes, not just for male ones. Everybody misses, and I think pretty much.
    So funny the dancing steps stepping toes, I could picture it.
    Regarding the silly mood many times I think is when you do not notice, or when you are just playing that you do your best work.

  5. Wonderful ‘philosophy’ captured beautifully within poetic verse.

    Enjoyed reading 🙂

  6. This is my favorite one yet, UT! Just curious, was this an intentional homophone?
    “I know longer miss you completely”

    Thanks for the well wishes re: grad school. Get to go home tomorrow, eat some real food and kiss the rats.

    Glad you’re not deterred… I always look that way, it’s not intentional 😉

  7. “when you are just playing you do your best work”

    Dear Mariana, I am happy to entertain your thoughts. There is only one
    problem with me accepting that statement. Another comic might say,
    “Why doesn’t anyone take me seriously?” I mean…that’s okay and all,
    if that’s your personal preference, but not all of my stuff is meant to be
    funny. Of course, you know that. Maybe it is true, that I am ‘dead’ serious?

    Have a great week, and I will be more careful with your toes. Promise!

  8. Glad to see you enjoyed this one, Isle Poet.
    I saw that someone called you Peter. Is that correct? Or is it Kirra? Hmmm?
    Whatever name you wish to go by is okay with me. I just wish I knew.
    Thanks for stopping in again, it is much appreciated. Cheerz! Keith

  9. Hello, Amanda! Your favorite? Really? Why do I find that odd?
    I wrote that 7 years ago, back when I thought of myself as a rookie,
    a beginner, new to this game. That I have not improved since then is–
    well, sort of a troublesome thought. What should I be thinking?

    I pretty much used a regular phone to dial this one in. I really enjoy
    using words in phrases that can be taken to mean this, or that,
    or maybe something else. As long as it almost makes sense both ways,
    I’ll stick it in there, and let the reader wonder which way I meant it.

    I don’t like missing people. I’d rather think that we’ll meet up again
    in the future, someplace or other, somewhere in time. I have enough
    confidence in my words to think I hit the target (you, the reader)
    in one way or another. The heart, the mind, the soul, the bull’s eye,
    all five of your senses: these are what I aim for. I know you know.

    I am a lot of things, but I will not be de turd. Not always, at least.
    You rook mahvelous in that pic! Good to see you, and thanks for
    joining in the conversation. I really like that! Chow! Keith

  10. Uncle, NOBODY writes like you. You are a Great Oak to your own, and I’m always glad I wander into your forest.

    If I could go back and be 8 again, I’d build a treehouse on your sturdy branches.

    “A few are notoriously


    below the belt”

    LOVE IT.

  11. What an amazing compliment, Bryan!
    It is very encouraging to hear you say that. (You ARE #1 in
    my recycled paperback book.) I’m glad you enjoyed the silly visual effects!

    Elementary has been known to go before my name for good reason. 😉

  12. It’s a good thing you came here to be soothed of the blues,
    you hospitable gal, you. Udderwise, I’duh had ta scold ya fer stayin’ way
    so long, dagnabbit! No, really…good to see ya. Glad ta be a heyulper.

  13. Seven years ago – before you became Uncle Tree ( Diablo”a moniker).
    That is much too long to go without a kiss!

  14. Yes, Kate, I agree.
    For the time being, I have to content myself
    with kisses blown into my mirrored reflection.
    I believe that is why they call it a vanity.


    The kiss of fate awaits at the gate,
    and I am likely to show up late.

    To divide is to conquer.
    You are full of success, Ed.

  15. Hei uncle, I always take you serious, and it is funny at the same time, what else can you ask than that? I think that genious. There are great truth said in very funny ways.
    PD:Today I have 74 unoppened emails, so I am going to go on for now, my god why doesn’t internet work for yourself when you are not there?
    Take care

  16. I was at the river last night and its capacity to contain the whole of the glorious sunset, colors and clouds – tales my breath away!
    Here’s to today and dear UT,
    To peer deeply through the mirror – into your heart- is the stuff of soul revelation, oh yeah! (therein lies not vanity, but freedom)
    -gemini girl

  17. Mom and Dad, Keith, I wouldn’t call it success. It’s more like succession, but it will come clear, even if we are late 😉

    Liked your vintage piece a lot,


  18. Holy Moses! The fiery bush lit up today! Thank God,
    Mariana takes me seriously. Dear sweet niece, the words from thou
    are akin to music from the spheres for these proverbial ears of of mine.
    Of course, it wood be great to master one dimension, but I’d be happier
    to be pretty good at all three dimensions…or all four…or all eleven,
    depending on your current string theory preference which I don’t know.

    My work tonight (after answering all these lovely responses) consists of
    handwriting on my dad’s card the poem I wrote him today for
    Father’s Day. 74 e-mails? That’s ridiculous! Good luck, girl,
    and thanks for setting me straight. Luv ya!

  19. I confess, Kate. I have peered at a couple of tails today.
    I mean tales. Short ones. In a book. Takes me word for it.
    Everything is more expensive nowadays, but I am still free to be me,
    Uncle Tree. If you’d like me to fix your future mistypes, all you have to
    do is say the wor…just say so, and I shall, in all due respect, Princess.
    You and your evening walks…I do sorta miss hearing about them.
    One of these days your gonna need mouth-to-mouth recess-itation.
    Please be careful what you watch. I’d rather you stick around. 🙂

  20. Ed takes the cake. Better late than never with the icing, huh?
    Vintage makes it sound old, which it was, but I spiked it with a dash
    of zest and rearranged the cocktail glasses a bit. Can’t you tell?

  21. I’m glad you like my kind of stuff, Pablo.
    A humorous interpretation, and a grin on my reader’s face
    is all I can hope to imagine happens from these here parts of the wood.

  22. Fruit of the loonies! Get ’em right here!
    Don’t over indulge now.
    They go straight to your funny bone.

    Thanks for cooling off my roots, D!
    It’s been a long day. The longest.
    94 degrees tells me, summa is heeya.

  23. Thank you, Cindy!

    I’ve been busy lately. All my time and efforts last week were spent
    coming up with answers to The Medicated Lady’s questions.

    I’ll be getting out and about to visit everyone again real soon.
    Thank you for being patient! I appreciate it.

  24. hypothetically speaking,

    What happens if a lyrical punch goes way over the head of the intended recipient?

    on first pondering the situation my first incline would be to say the recipient does not feel it at all.

    alternatively if the punch was cleverly disguised as a good hearted favor the a recipient could actually feel benefited by the action or gesture…

    maybe even feel loved?

    It would also seem that the punch would be held indefinitely “frozen” and unaffected by the seemingly unstoppable force of time.

    It would seem to me that this looming frozen punch would contain increasing amounts of kinetic energy…. waiting to deliver the actual/truthful blow should the punch at some point be recognized as such….

    by the simpleton

    that it had originally zoomed far overhead?

    I love the way your posts make my think

    Do you realize the potential of this….

    if a form of kinetic energy could escape/ignore/overpower that silent bully that

    “makes us all it’s bitches” (Kevin Barnes of Of Montreal)

    That untouchable cock smoking bastard known as TIME

    this (appears to me anyway) to be the key to time travel.

    maybe not being able to go back in time.

    but potentially being able to stop time on some plains

    ABSOLUTELY INCREDITABLE what you have uncovered Professor Tree

  25. My, oh my, you sure love to stir things up.
    Don’tcha Dusty? They say it ALL got started when God Almighty
    went off on a tangent. Next thing ya know, “BANG!!!”
    And (w)Allah, or Abra(ham)-Cadabara—-Creation.

    Some peoples believe that answering hypothetical questions is
    a precious waste of (not so?) precious Time. But there’s always a ‘but’.
    The butt of the joke is the ‘but’ at The End, for “Time must have a stop.”
    (Aldous Huxley) I agree. No one invented the event horizon. As far as we
    are concerned, it’s always been there, and we can only see so far ahead.

    I think we’ll have to learn to go back in Time first.
    That’s the only way we’ll ever know just how far we’ve come already.
    Because we’re not ready yet, not by any means.

    To answer your first question:
    Some other unintended recipient will get all wet.
    I can then say I missed you on purpose. (I’m such a nice guy.)

    Yes. You can hold, or delay the punch for a later date.
    Very few things make sense the first time around.
    Read it now and it may hit you later. Then can you soak it all in.

    When I want to save my time, I just stop spending it.
    Thank you for your thoughtful response, good sir.

  26. Yeah uncle my comment wasn’t necessary.

    I was impatient and frustrated (unrelated to you post)

    Anyway uncle, i am not saving a punch for anybody.

    After reading your post I really did get to thinking that a missed joke in theory could

    escape times clutches. You know I am a wing nut but I am not threatening or mindfucking or intimidating. I’m just frustrated uncle

    I really do like the triggered thoughts and theories that your blogs and those posted by others invoke in my mind.

    Via con dios cavrone

    it’s all good, thanks for your perspective friend

  27. We can only change History when we finally get the joke.
    At least it wood be a major step in the right direction.
    But does it give us the right to re-write it?

    There was nothing in your above comment that came off as
    hurtful or malevolent, much less condescending. Arrogant? Maybe. 🙂

    Via con dios babyloney to you, too.

  28. Way back when…when I was a novice blogger –
    Not even I had read this for awhile 🙂
    Glad you enjoyed it, Jamie.
    Thank you! Keith

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s